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Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.
Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.
(When you’re a black woman in your 40s, why do all your matches look like George Jefferson?
) Hoffman says the algorithm, like a boyfriend, can’t read my mind; I need to message and “like” guys I find appealing if I want to start seeing similar people in my results.
He's sweet, too, talking about his grandma, and we follow dinner with drinks.Do a Google image search with his photo to see if it links to a Facebook or Instagram account.” This can also protect you from scam artists—be wary if the photos seem too perfect or his language is considerably more fluent in his profile than in his messages. I’m spiritual and go to church, but “faith” sounds heavy.And if he tells you he lost his wallet and needs a loan? The first thing Hoffman tells me: “This takes time and attention. I swap it for “fun.”, is that men tend to overestimate the sexual interest of women they casually encounter, so they may assume the "gift" will be welcome.Let him disappear and make way for the partner you deserve.”On the day of the date, I meet him at a restaurant.(Hoffman wouldn’t approve; she said to make the first date a quick drink, one hour max, but when Hunkamania suggested dinner, I couldn’t resist.) He’s just as swoon worthy in person as his photos!
We come up with “My ideal match is someone who loves family, has an opinion on current events, and can hold his own at a cocktail party on a Friday night, then chill with me on a lazy Saturday.” The final touch is a headline that sums up my approach to life, like a personal slogan. "It's like a slot machine—the majority of the time, you pull the lever and nothing happens, but every once in a while, there's a payoff." A deflating solution from one online dater: "Draw a face on it and send it back to him."Hoffman looks at my photos and nixes the corporate headshot and mirror selfie. Mirror selfies often give off an air of vanity.” She says the best profile shots feature the three Cs: color (vibrant shades, especially red, grab attention), context (pics that involve your hobbies, like travel or, say, clog dancing), and character (something quirky or funny, “like you in your Halloween costume”).