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Individuals who end up in mutually-satisfying relationships often match each other on a number of levels.In other words, they are both roughly equal in traits such as physical attractiveness, or education, or social status.For that reason, successful daters know what they want and what they are willing to give in return (see here and here).They also look out for signs of a good partner (here), while still staying realistic about it (here).I received a lot of questions and request for advice after that article.Many, many people, of all genders and sexual orientations, face the dreaded "friend zone" and unrequited love.
Another reason why people end up in the friend zone is that they are too afraid, uncertain, or passive.In any case, these individuals begin the interaction by not clearly communicating what they want - and settling for less.Sometimes, this is honestly done out of insecurity. I met a woman who I liked - but as she drank, she got more angry.By understanding the uneven exchange and mismatch above, you can often stop a friend zone situation from even happening in the first place. For any number of reasons then, the "friend zoned" individual just doesn't spark the chemistry to make the other person desire them, lust after them, and want them in return.There are various ways to prevent such mismatching goals and make sure everyone is satisfied. Therefore, the attraction is one-sided, with them receiving nothing in return.
Overall then, the friend zone occurs in relationships where both individuals' emotional needs are not getting met. Because all good relationships are built from a mutually-satisfying social exchange (see here), friend zone situations ultimately don't feel very good.