Dating out of your race first dating email example
Had I been born a few years later or a few years earlier, however, it’s entirely possible that I would have either found a crew of co-ethnics with whom to bond or I would have felt like much more of an outsider.But instead I grew up in an in-between moment in which people didn’t have a strong sense of what people like me were supposed to be like, and so I at least felt that I had the breathing room to define myself.When my parents settled in Brooklyn in the mid-1970s, there were only a small handful of Bengali-speaking South Asian Muslims in the city, and so self-segregation wasn’t really an option.Like it or not, they had to interact with and rely on people outside of their ethnocultural group.The site nudges you to answer as many questions as you can stand, and it also nudges you to make your answers public, as you can only see the answers of potential dates if you disclose your own answers.Answering questions allows Ok Cupid’s fancy algorithms to identify people who might be a good fit for you.What I found surprising about the fact that a fair number of people answered that they would indeed strongly prefer to go out with someone of their own skin color/racial background was not that this phenomenon exists in the world.Racial preferences in dating are quite common, and women appear to exhibit stronger same-race preferences than men.
Before I start throwing stones, I should note that my upbringing has given me a skewed perspective on American life.
And so I’m disinclined to judge those who do have strong same-race preferences too harshly.
Nevertheless, I do feel comfortable judging them guilty of being clueless.
Di Tomaso observes that while Americans place very high value on the of equal opportunity, virtually all of us seek “unequal opportunity” in our own lives by leveraging our intimate relationships to achieve our goals, including our professional goals.
Yet most of us don’t see the help of family and friends as an unfair leg up.
Though these algorithms can be cleverly gamed, the basic idea that answering questions honestly will allow you to find people who share your sensibilities, goals, and quirks makes intuitive sense.