Dating it

Posted by / 30-Nov-2019 22:52

Dating it

We are open to any suggestions, in regards to add or changing more user flairs, as well as anything else that can help improve /r/dating. We hit it off and began dating without calling each other “boyfriend/girlfriend”. She said I was everything she looked for in a partner. Don’t give your heart away so easily to people who don’t deserve it.

Out of nowhere she began acting distant, unaffectionate, and then just texted me “this isn’t going to work out.” We only dated for a month and a half, but I met her family, her friends and I began to open up to her and trust her. I thought we would begin to actually date one another, but I guess that’s not the case. Be careful I'm (M24) from Jamaica, and a friend of mine who was in the states for months told me trying to date is way different here than it is there.

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He told me that it's actually weird to just walk up to a girl randomly and say hey in the States. The anxiety you get sometimes before approaching a gorgeous woman. I've been in a few relationships before (all lasting a few months, all fun, and all ended by circumstances outside my control).

He said that it could be viewed as assault, as the girl ”the girl might not want to talk to you" is that true? If a girl doesn't like you she'll let you know or you might get a number that isn't let's say... Even getting rejected, to realize that it isn't a big deal. Sometimes I say absolute shit and look like an idiot. They've all been great, I've learned a lot about dating and about myself, but (and I know this is shallow)- every girl I've dated has a history of anxiety and/or depression that began before I met them, and which I've found out about AFTER we start dating.

My heart jumps every time he msgs, and I think about him non-stop. Has it happened to anyone before 🥺I keep thinking he’s disinterested because of the shitty texting. My speaking voice is also high, and I have afro hair. Like computer programming, auto mechanics, weightlifting, truck driving, outdoorstuff. I kinda like more rugged, and teddy bear like guys. I feel I'm living in some type of fantasy land because of my type, and I couldn't give a solitary fuck. Because I'm a gay feminine, Childish Gambino looking black guy.

However, I feel guilty when I share my own problems or concerns with my dating partners because I feel like its unfair to make them listen to/help me with my problems when they have so much else they're worried about.

I've genuinely cared about and trusted the women I've dated, but I sometimes find myself holding back, if that makes sense.

I guess I just need advice on how to handle this moving forward. (I was born in the 90s, and I like all types of music, but I love, LOVE, Disco and soul above all.) I'm a writer, (I write novels), but my boyfriend doesn't have to be a writer, and kinda prefer if he wasn't, because the literary community hates me.

Do I need to change how I portray myself online/in real life? I been on meetups, but nobody seemed interested in me. I tried to sign up for this Speed Dating Event/Mixer, here in LA, and the company I later found out is a scam. My hobbies are not hobbies I'm attracted to in other men really or want to date over. I was banned from so many writing subreddits because I'm so fierce lol.

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Now I'm a Ph D student and I have an insanely busy schedule, so I can't give as much as I'm used to, which makes me worried about dating someone with anxiety.

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