“Focusing on the issue rather than blame can allow for more effective problem solving and a team-based approach,” Cilona says.
“We expect so much from our relationships these days.
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Regularly opening up can help bring you closer, says psychotherapist Beth Sonnenberg, L. Whatever it is, not addressing the root of the problem means you’re going to continue to fight.
That’s why Cilona recommends that you and your partner identify recurring conflicts, and decide on the solutions.
It's called "mirroring." Here’s how it works: When you’re having an important discussion with your partner, repeat back exactly what you heard them say before you comment on it.
For example, something like "So what you’re saying is, you think we need more time for just us without friends or kids around? “You will be endlessly surprised at how the simplest statements are heard differently by various people,” Cilona says.
D., author of He recommends expressing yourself by doing little things like making coffee for them in the morning, warming up their car, or stocking the freezer with their favorite flavor of Halo Top.Here’s how to go from being at the mercy of life to actively creating the healthy, happy love you’ve longed for.Read More You’re an attractive woman who goes on plenty of dates, but haven’t connected with anyone.Sure, it might sound drab, but getting your "homework," or couple's maintenance out of the way during a designated conversation is better than having it sabotage a perfectly romantic meal. “Once you think that your feelings don’t matter, won’t be heard, or are not worth sharing, you open the door to harbor negativity and resentment.” That includes positive feelings, too, she points out—especially when they’re connected with your partner.Make sure to cover the things that you're grateful for as well as use the time to figure out how to solve problems and minimize them in the future, Cilona says. “People need to feel appreciated in any relationship,” she adds. Maybe you repeatedly fight about your intense work schedule, or your partner’s spending habits.