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Monogamy had made me capable of getting drunk on the male-attention equivalent of Miller Lite.
In just a few days, men I’d never met had offered to date me, to degrade me, to make me come a dozen times, to take me to dinner, to take me to Paris, to make me couscous.
I’ve always felt like an average-looking woman, a solid 6 or maybe a 7 if I bother to wear mascara, but swiping through my matches and messages, I felt like a special species. Just not really hard-core stuff like coprophilia (pooping on each other).
I felt coveted and appreciated and valued and desired. I like to use a lot of alcohol and hard drugs and then have sex. Oh, A few days into the experiment, I still wasn’t sure I’d actually connect with anyone who I’d want to meet in person, when I matched with a man who was British, erudite, and polite.
Pete went with Within a few hours of beginning the experiment, my matches accumulated.
I received one message after another, plenty from creeps but plenty from seemingly respectable suitors.
On a recent evening, I was having drinks with a male friend — a single and actively-looking-for-a-long-term-relationship friend — when he asked me why there seemed to be so many married women on Tinder.
According to him, they appeared on the app, boldly describing themselves as “married” or “in an open marriage.” Were they actively looking for sex, he wondered? He didn’t know many married women, and he thought of me as an emissary of the tribe, which is a reasonable way to think of me.
It seemed common knowledge that apps like Tinder had transformed single life and dating. We weren’t fighting constantly or sleeping in separate bedrooms.Perhaps married women were simply beginning to want what married men have always wanted and come to expect: more.Affair dating sites are sites designed for people who are seeking affairs between married or attached people.In the years since, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking and writing about marriage, and I’d begun to notice more and more women subverting, reimagining, or challenging received notions surrounding the institution, specifically when it came to monogamy.More women were beginning to see opening their marriages as a legitimate and in many ways appealing option.
Usually users of the sites are married or attached and are seeking fun outside of their relationship.